no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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