I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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