And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
