I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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