oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
