Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Also, beer. Big fan.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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