I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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