I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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