Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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