therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
