I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
