She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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