oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
