I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I miss vodka workout Fridays
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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