last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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