oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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