I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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