should my penis look like a turkey
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
how drunk are you?
Several
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
