she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
