You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
