Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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