I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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