There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
