Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
