doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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