How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
