I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
