What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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