I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
