And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize