All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
