A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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