ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
