Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Fuck appropriateness.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
