Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
porn star boner night. come get it.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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