My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
