he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
