fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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