just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
