kristin has been a bad kristin
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
