We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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