remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
