She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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