i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
i now understand why vodka
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize