Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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