never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
