that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
