my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
