ugly people sure do ruin things
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my shit smells like andre
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
