Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
