We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
