you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We are two peas in an std pod
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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