Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
