i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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