His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
