Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
